Life's Choices
Life is full of choices
Make sure you pick the right one
Don't listen to the voices
Hear only yours and you have won
Many people will tell you
You need to change your looks
Don't take to heart their view
Fabulous bods are found only in books
There is only one voice
That you should listen to
It will help make the right choice
That is perfect just for you
Your looks are your own
Someone will always love you
You will never be alone
Look in the mirror and you'll see who.
Monday, January 26, 2009
POLITICS FOR DUMMIES
POLITICS FOR DUMMIES
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks she's French, other times she's Flemish. The
Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks she's French, other times she's Flemish. The
Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
TRUE LOVE STARTS SOME WHERE
There are some facts about us(guys) that you (girls) should know.
Send this message to as many friend as you can so that our world would be full of Love and understandings.
Now here it goes:
Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are you doing something?” or “Have you eaten already?” are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characteristics.
Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.
Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
When guys want to meet your parents. Let them. …….dont think so
Guys want to tell you many things but they can’t. And they have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking! but do not generalise
Guys cry!!!
Don’t provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
Guys can never dream and hope too much.
Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
When you touch a guy’s heart, there’s no turning back.
Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind!” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands……yeh rite - watever.
Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
When a guy makes a prolonged “umm” or makes any excuses when you’re asking him to do you a favor, he’s actually saying that he doesn’t like you and he can’t lay down the card for you.
When a girl says “no”, a guy hears it as “try again tomorrow”. ……so true.
You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
Guys hate gays!
Guys love their moms.
A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn’t mean that the guy likes her.
You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.
Guys are very open about themselves.
It’s good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don’t let him wait that long.
No guy is bad when he is courting
Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
Guys really admire girls that they like even if they’re not that much pretty.
Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice…….very true.
A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts. ……..sumtimes.
Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
Guys virtually brag about anything.
Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
Guys think too much.
Guys’ fantasies are unlimited.
Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does!……very true.
Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
It’s not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they’ve been together for 3 years or more.
You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be matured and grow up.
When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed P**** with their girlfriends…..sumtimes depends wen they want sumat.
When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he’s sweating. You’ll probably see that he is nervous.
When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me”……sumtimes.
Guys don’t really have final decisions.
When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him….very important.
If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
Guys believe that there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
Guys like femininity not feebleness.
Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.
A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
Guys love girls who can cook or bake. ….they love u regardless.
Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!……true but only wen the guys are ready 2be settled down.
A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
A guy’s friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
Don’t be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
Don’t be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you’ll be surprised.
Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
Guys don’t comprehend the statement “Get lost” too well.
Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
Guys don’t care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they’ll realize they’re wrong.
Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He’s just too stubborn to deal with it.
Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
Guys’ weakest point is at the knee.
When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
When a guy looks at you, either he’s amazed by you or he’s criticizing you.
When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you’re with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
When a guy says he can’t sleep if he doesn’t hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
Girls are allowed to touch boys’ things. Not their hair!
If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.
Guys hate girls who overreact. ……sumtimes.
Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.
Send this message to as many friend as you can so that our world would be full of Love and understandings.
Now here it goes:
Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are you doing something?” or “Have you eaten already?” are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characteristics.
Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.
Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
When guys want to meet your parents. Let them. …….dont think so
Guys want to tell you many things but they can’t. And they have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking! but do not generalise
Guys cry!!!
Don’t provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
Guys can never dream and hope too much.
Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
When you touch a guy’s heart, there’s no turning back.
Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind!” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands……yeh rite - watever.
Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
When a guy makes a prolonged “umm” or makes any excuses when you’re asking him to do you a favor, he’s actually saying that he doesn’t like you and he can’t lay down the card for you.
When a girl says “no”, a guy hears it as “try again tomorrow”. ……so true.
You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
Guys hate gays!
Guys love their moms.
A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn’t mean that the guy likes her.
You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.
Guys are very open about themselves.
It’s good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don’t let him wait that long.
No guy is bad when he is courting
Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
Guys really admire girls that they like even if they’re not that much pretty.
Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice…….very true.
A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts. ……..sumtimes.
Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
Guys virtually brag about anything.
Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
Guys think too much.
Guys’ fantasies are unlimited.
Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does!……very true.
Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
It’s not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they’ve been together for 3 years or more.
You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be matured and grow up.
When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed P**** with their girlfriends…..sumtimes depends wen they want sumat.
When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he’s sweating. You’ll probably see that he is nervous.
When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me”……sumtimes.
Guys don’t really have final decisions.
When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him….very important.
If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
Guys believe that there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
Guys like femininity not feebleness.
Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.
A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
Guys love girls who can cook or bake. ….they love u regardless.
Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!……true but only wen the guys are ready 2be settled down.
A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
A guy’s friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
Don’t be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
Don’t be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you’ll be surprised.
Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
Guys don’t comprehend the statement “Get lost” too well.
Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
Guys don’t care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they’ll realize they’re wrong.
Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He’s just too stubborn to deal with it.
Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
Guys’ weakest point is at the knee.
When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
When a guy looks at you, either he’s amazed by you or he’s criticizing you.
When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you’re with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
When a guy says he can’t sleep if he doesn’t hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
Girls are allowed to touch boys’ things. Not their hair!
If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.
Guys hate girls who overreact. ……sumtimes.
Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.
WHAT IS LOVE?
Love is a slow kiss goodnight, It's anticipation.
Love is flirting ourtageously and still remembering that the person at your side is not obligated to do anything, It's respect.
Love is an imperfection in your self not bothering you, it's acceptance.
Love is passing up an opportunity because the time isn't right yet, It's patience.
Love is a back massage that starts above the hairline and ends around the insoles, it's exploration.
Love doesn not have to say, "lets make love," because you know what the other person wants, it understands.
Love is being given an honest chance to say no when you thought you were committed, it's consideration.
Love is both of you remembering protection, it's responsibility.
Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles, it's humor.
Love is being told "stop and i'll kill you." It's desire.
Love is reviewing the damge to your living room and realizing personal effects are strewn in a clockwise pattern from the front door the to bedroom, it's abandonment.
Love is seeing what your love really looks like for the first time, it's truth.
Love is knowing what time it is and not caring, it's joy.
Love is the arms around you tightening their embrace, it's ecstacy.
Love is seeing a new side of a person you thought you knew, it's renewal.
Love is telling a person if you have to leave, you will let them sleep, and being told they would rathr be woken, it's tenderness.
Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder, it's where fantasy meets reality.
Love is being there to wake your lover slowly, it's sensuousness.
Love belatedly knows why you bothered to buy a queen-sized bed three years ago, it's practicality.
Love is two people only taking up a third of a queen-sized bed, it's closeness.
Love knows you gave the extra set of keys to your apartment to the right person, its trust.
Love is saying good-bye and knowing you will be back by mutual consent, its faith.
Love is stretching your arms and discovering the real meaning of the word "sore" it's a lesson in human frailty.
Love is opening your medicine cabinet finding your tube of toothpaste turned into a prezel, it's adaptation.
Love is sitting at the window, looking out and remembering who you were with the night before, it's reflection.
Love is hearing the weather forecast for a winter storm and wishing you could spend it in bed with your lover, it's loneliness.
Love is stories that will never be told, it's personal.
Love is flirting ourtageously and still remembering that the person at your side is not obligated to do anything, It's respect.
Love is an imperfection in your self not bothering you, it's acceptance.
Love is passing up an opportunity because the time isn't right yet, It's patience.
Love is a back massage that starts above the hairline and ends around the insoles, it's exploration.
Love doesn not have to say, "lets make love," because you know what the other person wants, it understands.
Love is being given an honest chance to say no when you thought you were committed, it's consideration.
Love is both of you remembering protection, it's responsibility.
Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles, it's humor.
Love is being told "stop and i'll kill you." It's desire.
Love is reviewing the damge to your living room and realizing personal effects are strewn in a clockwise pattern from the front door the to bedroom, it's abandonment.
Love is seeing what your love really looks like for the first time, it's truth.
Love is knowing what time it is and not caring, it's joy.
Love is the arms around you tightening their embrace, it's ecstacy.
Love is seeing a new side of a person you thought you knew, it's renewal.
Love is telling a person if you have to leave, you will let them sleep, and being told they would rathr be woken, it's tenderness.
Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder, it's where fantasy meets reality.
Love is being there to wake your lover slowly, it's sensuousness.
Love belatedly knows why you bothered to buy a queen-sized bed three years ago, it's practicality.
Love is two people only taking up a third of a queen-sized bed, it's closeness.
Love knows you gave the extra set of keys to your apartment to the right person, its trust.
Love is saying good-bye and knowing you will be back by mutual consent, its faith.
Love is stretching your arms and discovering the real meaning of the word "sore" it's a lesson in human frailty.
Love is opening your medicine cabinet finding your tube of toothpaste turned into a prezel, it's adaptation.
Love is sitting at the window, looking out and remembering who you were with the night before, it's reflection.
Love is hearing the weather forecast for a winter storm and wishing you could spend it in bed with your lover, it's loneliness.
Love is stories that will never be told, it's personal.
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